If I Could Go Back
by DancingStarofOz
Summary: Glinda's thoughts during Defying Gravity, and past that. Wicked fic. One shot.


A.N. This was my first one shot. It was also my first fic I wrote by myself. It's Glinda's perspective during Defying Gravity and a while afterwards. Disclamer: All lyrics written by Stephen Schwartz. This would not be here without the WONDERFUL book written by Gregory Maquire: "Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West." All lines from the musical by Winnie Holzman. I don't own the musical or the book, nor did I have the idea for them. The only thing that is mine is the glimpse of Glinda's mind we get here. 

"Quick! Get on!"

"What?"

"Come with me. Think of what we could do… together."

The thoughts rushed through my head. Where would we live? What would our families think? How would we survive? As I thought of all these necessities, I also thought of the good that could happen. Maybe Oz could be shown the truth about their "Wonderful" Wizard. Maybe people would learn not to care about the skin, and look on the inside.

"_As I have done,"_ I thought to myself, remembering those first days living with Elphaba. The hatred we had for one another! The thought made me giggle, remembering how I had called the green girl "Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and almost impossible to describe." She simply called me "Blonde." That was her way, of course. After living with her for a few months, I had learned that Miss Elphaba, or Elphie, as I so liked to call her (even though she found it too perky), was blunt, and would never beat around the bush. As I thought about it more, for a time that seemed like hours, yet, was only a few seconds long, I realized my first description was rather correct. Elphie was… Elphie. There was no other way to describe this person that had become my best friend, and taught me so many things.

The two of us spoke more about the topic. The flashes of rememberence and new ideas increased to a dizzying speed. How could I let her go alone? She was so idealistic and zealous, she would need someone to keep their head, to help her make those decisions that could mean life or death. No one else would stand with her, would they?

"_Madame Morrible has already sealed her fate, if she leads through with this decision to never come back,"_ as I remememed her pronouncement of a girl she had supported since the first day at Shiz.

"She's evil… Her green skin is but an outward manifestation of her twisted nature! This distortion... this repulsion... this... Wicked Witch!" she had screamed from the palace balcony. Yet, the first day at Shiz, she had taken Elphaba under her wing after seeing the mastery she had at sorcery without any training. The woman was as fake as the white face paint she wore. She did not care if her student would do marvolous things for the Wizard, or if she would do marvolus things for the Animals of Oz. All she wanted was fame. Was that all that anyone wanted in Oz wanted? Or was it that they were blind? After all, Morrible was just reitterating what the Wizard had said. Oz would never believe anything that did not agree with their Wizard's ideals. They followed as sheep, blind to so much that few saw for what it was. They were so infatuated and fanatical about the man who had floated into Oz so many years ago. How were they to grasp the idea that no one knew if he was lying, or telling the whole truth? He came from another world, for Oz's sakes!

"Well, are you coming?"

Elphie's words burst me from my world of thought. Going with her meant giving up everything I had ever known. It meant hiding in unknown places for the rest of my life. Was improving all of Oz worth losing all of that? If I stayed, I would have lost my best friend, and might not ever see her again. My head hurt from all of this decision making. Then it dawned on me. This one decision decided the rest of my life. To go with Elphie was to be an outcast. To stay was to become something.

I couldn't deny it. The second option seemed so much better. It seemed wiser, and that Elphaba's decision was foolish. But, then again, that was thinking with my brain, and not my heart. My heart wanted to go with Elphie, to soar over Oz, to make it better for generations to come. My head wanted me to stay, to remain popular and, quite possibly, become the next leader of Oz. If the Wizard couldn't have Elphie, he would take me, wouldn't he?

The thoughts swirled like a far off galaxy. I had to make a decision.

Finally, I shook my head. "No."

My heart broke at that moment. I wasn't losing anything but my best friend, was I? Yet, it seemed that Elphie was more than a best friend. I was keeping all the external things that everyone else loved so much, but I was losing a person who had taught me, laughed with me, and been there for me. How could losing just one person seem like losing so much more?

The gaurds came, and caught me. Elphaba soared above them, and defyed gravity. I then left and returned to Shiz, still the epitome of popularity. No one cared that Elphaba had left. In fact, soon she had become known as "The Wicked Witch of the West." How I hated that nickname! The only person who seemed to understand anything about what I was feeling was Fiyero. And now, as I graduate from Shiz, I remember all of the events of that day, burned into my mind like a brand. I couldn't forget any of it.

Oz knows where Elphie is. Nessa doesn't know, and you'd think she would be ther person who would have heard from her. All I know is that she soars, and works for the greater good of all of Oz. How I wish I could go back and change my mind! The Wizard has invited me to become his protegee as soon as I graduate. I have accepted his offer, and will now be known as Glinda the Good. If only Elphie could see me now! Of course, she and I would be the greatest team Oz had ever seen. Now, we work on what seem like opposite sides. She is, to the people of Oz, the most wicked person they had ever known. I will become known as their "Goodness," a person who will be the quintessence of virtuous people.

If I could go back, and change it all, I would rather be known as "Glinda the Wicked."


End file.
